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Anything Is Possible

16Nov

If there’s anything that Donald Trump has taught us, it’s that anything is possible in America. Any crazy-ass thing, no matter how insane, no matter how fucked up, is possible.

If there’s anything that Donald Trump has taught us, it’s that anything is possible in America.

Any crazy-ass thing, no matter how insane, no matter how fucked up, is possible. In America, you just need to imagine it, and it can happen.

Take Rudy Giuliani, crazy person and failed presidential candidate – which cabinet position should we choose for him? You’re thinking, well, he’s a former prosecutor and at least nominally, if not temperamentally, suited to be Attorney General? No, let’s make him Secretary of State. Our top diplomat. Because nothing says diplomatic like Rudy Giuliani.

Crazy lunatic white supremacist raging anti-Semite Steve Bannon? We’ll make him top Special Advisor to the President. What, you’re saying, a person with such views would never make it through the confirmation process? Well fuck you, it’s not a cabinet position, there is no fucking confirmation process.

I was joking with Kate last night that any minute Trump would be nominating Sarah Palin and Ann Coulter to cabinet positions. Say, Palin for Secretary of Defense maybe. MC Justice helpfully suggested Coulter for Ministry of Information, which again, makes perfect sense. Like that’s the craziest thing that could ever happen. And then, 10 minutes later, my friend Camille is like, “oh no, Palin’s being mentioned for Secretary of the Interior.” Like, they just announced it. For real. For fucking real.

And I’m like, what’s next? Ben Carson – he’s a doctor, let’s make him Secretary of the Treasury. Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke – you’re thinking it would be really evil to put him as head of the Civil Rights Division at Justice, but no, let’s make him Surgeon General, because fuck you. That crazy sheriff from Milwaukee – head of NASA. Why the fuck not.

I haven’t looked at the news in the last two hours, so I’m sure events have gotten ahead of me, and all these people have been nominated already, for realz. If that’s true and you’re thinking of helpfully correcting me, you’re missing the fucking point. Because I already know that they just nominated Baron Trump to the Supreme Court. So fuck you.

In conclusion, I feel blessed, truly blessed, to live in a country where anyone, no matter their race, creed or color, no matter their station in life, no matter their connection with “sanity” or “reality” or “facts”, can achieve greatness, riches, and power, if Donald Trump says so.

Because fuck you.

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Anything Is Possible

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